Bridget H replied: "My 13 year old almost-stepdaughter is ADD/ADHD as well and is on Strattera for her issues. She isn't in Special Ed but is on a "slow track" program -- she is in the same class as others her age, but the expectations are lowered for her, and instead of having a free study period, she sits with either her tutor or her guidance counselor (alternating days) in a constant effort to get her up to speed with the class. Her school's policy is to mainstream slower and LD kids; yours may vary. You haven't said whether or not you have seen a counselor or sought help for this. My advice is that if you haven't, please do. ASAP. Your son could have underlying issues, such as also being ADD/ADHD or bipolar. ODD often exists with ADD/ADHD and bipolarism, and my step-daughter exhibits signs of ODD as well (anger management problems, lying, manipulative, etc). Outside of school, my step-daughter attends a children's behavioral clinic once a week. Her counselor meets with her, then calls her father and I in to discuss things/strategies with us. Her father's insurance is good, but even if it wasn't, we'd be able to afford it, as they charge on a sliding scale for those without insurance. Almost every community has a clinic or service like that, and you really owe it to yourselves to find it and use it. It will take a lot of stress off you and your family. Consistency is definately the key in dealing with these kids. My step-daughter's mother is not in the picture (she has substance and other problems) and I have no prior experience with this issue, so I had to learn from scratch about how to help parent her. I was told that it is very important NOT to back down when you levy consequences. And become immune to the tantrums. I know it's hard as heck when the kid is bouncing off the walls of their room...but you have to say to them, "I am not accepting your behavior and I am not listening to it. I will speak with you again when you demonstrate respect -- and until then, you can stay in your room." -- and then walk into another room or into the back yard. And also follow through with punishments and don't accept the "it's too hard" excuse. The "I Can'ts" are classic with these kids, and they only use it because it works. So make it not work and make it a bad alternative in their minds. We tell my step-daughter in so many words, "You know how to do this, but now you're being lazy. You can either do it without giving us attitude, or be grounded for a week." Then follow through. It only took a month of having Hannah Montana and other TV shows being banned from the house and a forced bedtime of 7P -- along with a refusal to cave in to tantrums -- for her to start slowly falling into line. A few months ago, she had a tantrum and broke her bedroom door and kicked her A/C out of the window. Well, she's learned the hard way now that she can sweat through summer - because she's not getting a new A/C - and that if she wants a new bedroom door, she will have to buy one out of her allowance and help her father install it. She's whined to me a few times, "Can you please talk to my dad about getting me a new A/C?" And I keep responding, "Honey, you know that's not possible. You broke your A/C on purpose and if you want another one, you're going to have to come up with a way to buy one." She also whined about her bedroom door - and has been told again and again why we won't buy her a new one. The answer always is, "You made the choice to flip out and break it off the hinges. So we're making the choice not to buy a new one for you." Repetition, repetition, repetition -- and don't allow yourself to be "played." These kids will also try to pit one parent against another ("If Dad says no, ask Mom") , so watch for that and make sure you and your son's father have a strategy and present a "united front." Being that we're at the end of the school year, also request a meeting with your son's school and work on strategies with his teachers for next year. It's unfortunate that the laws in this country have now tilted towards all of the "rights" being allocated towards kids, with very few left for parents to be parents. Since your son has already contacted DSS (in some places, it's known as DCF) once before, I would suggest documenting everything that happens, so you have a paper trail. DCF/DSS, while they provide a valuable service, tends to overreact on what can possibly be perceived as "abuse," and you need to protect yourself against false allegations. Write down the date and time of incidents, along with what happened. It's unfortunate, but kids have learned that they can manipulate the system and parents have to protect themselves. Good luck. I know it's not easy but I'm right there with you."